Post-Op Meltdowns

I should start this post by saying that before surgery they do tell you that there will be hair loss. They do not tell you that it could be a lot, a lot, a lot of hair. So there is that. They also don't tell you that if you have some vitamin deficiencies then you could develop skin discoloration. In my case I am the only one that really notices it but it's like having a giant pimple on my nose. They also don't tell you that you will wake up one day and see yourself in a whole new light. You don't. You look in the mirror and see the same person. Seriously. The only time I see the weight loss is when I put on a smaller item of clothing. So combine those three things with a really, really bad several weeks at work and that spells recipe for a Major Meltdown!

 

So today I took the bus to work. It's cheaper and I don't have to deal with traffic. On my way home I was feeling stressed. I was feeling self conscious. I was feeling really tired (oh I have no voice that added to it too). I went to fix my ponytail and pulled out a huge was of hair. Enough to give a doll a wig. I cried. I am not vain, but I have been trying to grow my hair out for a really long time to donate it. So I cried, saw the salon, went in and asked them to chop my hair.

 

I have to say that for me it was like chopping off all of my past. I have a long way to go with my weight loss, but cutting off my hair felt like cutting off the 70lbs of emotions I have been carrying around with me for years. I have had haircuts before, but this one felt different. I feel better and more confident. I need to give a shout out to Utopia Hair Salon in Liverpool because they are amazing. I don' remember my stylists name, but she has my info so I will see her again.

 

And finally....

 

 



August Birchbox

I got my August Birchbox.

 

I am going to start with what I love. Also I got a new phone and I haven't quite figured out how to use it. Anyway lets get this started.

 

 

 

I loved that it was addressed to me as Magnificent Melissa. It was a nice pick me up to the bad day I had.

 

 

This Hello Breath spray was my most favorite thing. After surgery my doc told me no breath mints or chewing gum. What do you use then if you have a really stinky meal? I didn't even know that there were still companies making breath spray. To me it tasted so good and it was not strong. I feel like it really worked. I actually put my name on the wait list on Birchbox's website.

 

Okay everything else that to me was not worth the money this month.

 

I actually liked the scent of this Harvey Prince Ageless Perfume, but I don't really want to wear it because I don't want to fall more in love with it. I really am more of a body spray girl mainly due to the price factor. I think if I wear it too much more I will fall in love and then spend money I don't have, that actually I do have but should spend on other things especially since I already have way more scents than I need.

I did not try this facial scrub. I am actually going to give it to a friend from work. I already have a facial scrub that I really like that I already got from Birchbox. So I decided to save this product for my friend.

I have fallen in love with eyeliner recently. I was excited to get eyeliner, but they did say it was black and it wasn't that dark so that actually was a disappointment and I had to go over it with something so it wouldn't rub off.

This is shaving cream and it smells like vomit. It says acai and grapefruit but they lied. It is really vomit. I used it and now I smell like vomit.

 

This was a disappointing box for me except for the breath spray. I am still going to keep ordering though because I think they get to have a break on a bad box. I know other people who actually got really good boxes so I think that every once in awhile there has to be a bad box. The eyeliner alone covered the cost of the box as it is a $15 eyeliner.

 

As always if you want to sign up here is the link





My Tooshie Hurts

My tooshie hurts. I am pretty sure it is from my hike yesterday. If that is why then I want to do it more. My tooshie could use a lift.

What You Get To Do

There are lots of things you get to do when you lose weight. Here is the List

1. You get to go bra shopping. You get to do this even if you don't lose weight, but it is a thrill when you get to buy a new one that is smaller. I went to Soma yesterday and bought a new bra. I am going to return it because it might just be me, but I cannot stand underwire. The sales girl told me it is because I probably haven't been wearing the correct. So I listened to her and bought it. It's not because I wasn't wearing the right size. It's because I have a really short torso and the wire sits funny on me. So It was a success/failure.

 

2. You get to go hiking. Again you can do this without losing weight, but I would not have been able to do this without losing weight. 60lbs ago I could barely walk up a flight a stairs let alone hike for an hour and a half.

 

3. You can post selfies to dating websites with confidence. Again you probably don't need to lose weight to do this, but I needed to. I wouldn't have had the confidence. I still don't have a ton, but I am getting there. I figure I need to start stepping outside of my comfort zone.

 

There are a lot more things you can do, but these are just three from this week. More to come.

 

"One"derland

One of my all time favorite shows on television is The Biggest Loser. I used to love it as motivation when I was at the gym.  One of their sayings for when someone went under 200lbs was "one"derland. Well last week I achieved that.

I am embarrassed to say that I let myself get so heavy that I would be so excited to be in the 100's. I made a lot of stupid choices with my health. It's not that I didn't have control its that I felt that was my only control for a really long time. Know I am taking control in a different way. I really love feeling so much better. I love that I am sleeping better at night. I love that I don't feel as self conscious. I love that this is only the beginning.

One of the things I learned when I did weight watchers was to lift something that weighs the amount of weight you lost to help put it into perspective. I have been doing this and it is hard to find something that is 58lbs but I did go to the store and hold two twenty pound bags of potatoes. I was shocked at just the 40lbs of weight. I can't believe I was carrying that extra weight.

I know I still have a long way to go, but I am feeling more motivated. I am feeling proud, excited and so many other emotions. I am just so happy.

2 Months Post Op

So I am a few days late on this post but I am so excited to state that I have lost 52 lbs! I am so close to "onederland". I cannot wait. I feel so much better. I am off of my blood pressure medication. That is exciting all on it's own. I also feel like I have enough energy to start working out. So I went to the local gym today and signed up. I also signed up to meet with a personal trainer. His name is Mark. I have actually worked with him before. He used to be at another gym I worked out at and for some reason he left. I was sad when he did. So I tracked him down and found him at this other gym. So I start tomorrow. I am so excited. I want to keep losing this weight and looking good. So excited!

Birchbox July 2014 (and poop).

Yay I got my Birchbox for July! I love Birchbox. They deliver every month for $10 and it is totally worth the $10. They deliver all different kinds of beauty products and health products. So here is a review of my box.

The Box

 

 

As you can see this month they teamed up with Women's Health. I forgot to take a picture because I already mailed it but this month you can get a 1 year subscription for free to their magazine. Yay! Worth the subscription because it is valued at $9.99

 

The Description Card

 

 

I should mention I am not the greatest photographer. I took these with my cell camera. I am way too cheap to buy one. I love the card because it tells you what it is, the full size price and how to use it. I find it helpful in deciding if I want to purchase more of a product.

 

The Likes

 

 

Cynthia Rowley Silver Eyeliner: I love this. I didn't think I would like it because it is silver. I am an all black girl. It was nice to step out of my comfort zone. The only complaint I had is when I tried to take it off it was a little difficult. I used makeup remover but it just stayed. I had to scrub. This is also a good thing because it means that it will stay on and not melt away like some eyeliner does.

 

 

Harvey Prince Hello Body Cream: Another product I loved. It smells so good. I am thinking I will be buying a full size of this. It is smooth and not at all oily. I hate when lotion is oily.

 

 

Number 4 Super Comb Prep and Protect: This is a leave in conditioner. Right now because I am post WLS I am having a hard time keeping my hair from drying out. I liked this because it helped my hair feel smoother and less dry. I liked it.

 

The Not Really Disliked but Not Liked

 

 

Supergoop CC Cream: I have heard a lot of great things about this product. However when I opened it I thought it smelled really gross so I didn't test it out. I didn't want to put something on my face that I would have to smell all day.

 

The box also included some gummie multivitamins. I didn't take a picture or try them because my doctor advises against gummy vitamins post WLS. For a while anyway and I am only two months out so I didn't want to try them.

 

I have to say I liked this box too and I do think it is worth the money. I was worried that I would have a great first box and that it would go downhill from there. So far so good and I do recommend it.

 

Okay on to poop. I have finally been allowed to eat meat again. I don't know if it is because of all the protein but I have been constipated since Sunday. Well today I pooped. It was a great feeling. I know TMI but trust me when you have gone that long with out pooping it can become uncomfortable and when you aren't constipated anymore you want to dance.

 



June 2014 Birchbox Review

I recently decided to purchase a monthly subscription to Birchbox. You can use my link to learn more. Basically it is a monthly beauty subscription box. It costs $10 a month. One of the main reasons I wanted to get Birchbox is because I am turning into a new person. I want my outside to feel good so my inside can feel good. So I am taking a bigger interest in my appearance and need to learn about all the products out there available to me. So you get some samples of products to test out to help you find products that you will love. So without further ado here is my review.

The Box (Yay!)

 

 

This is a picture of the inner box. A nice pink and white box is what this box comes in.

 

Product Description

 

 

This isn't the greatest picture. The Product Description Card comes in every box. It tells a little about each product including the price of the full size version.

 

My Favorite Product

 

 

This product is from Suki. It is a Exfoliate Foaming Cleanser. The full size retails for $32.95. Let me say it is worth the cost. It smells like lemon and something else I can't quite put my finger on but it is a wonderful scent. I used a tiny pea sized amount and it was enough. I think I am going to get a few uses out of this which is another reason I love it. It definitely made my skin feel smoother. This was a win.

 

My Second Favorite

 

 

This is Egyptian Magic All Purpose Skin Cream. The full size retails for $26-$38. This is something else that I think is worth the cost. It can be used to help bruises and wrinkles. I tried it on a rash I got on my arm as the result of an allergic reaction. This totally calmed the itching down. Another great thing is it doesn't smell at all which is nice. At my job we are not allowed to use scented lotions so even though this isn't a lotion I can use it at work and not be concerned about the smell.

 

The Hair Products

 

 

So these products were under one product description on the card. They are Davines Love Smoothing Shampoo, Conditioner and All In One Milk. The full size products retail from $24-$28. I haven't decided if this is worth it yet or not because I have yet to try it. I am excited for the size of the shampoo but I wish they would have sent a matching size conditioner. I think if this helps my hair which is dry and frizzy it might be something to invest in to use every once in awhile, but I am partial to my Aussie Shampoo.

 

Disliked Product #1

 

 

This is Laqa & Co. Lip Lube that retails $18 for full size. It does come in different colors. My biggest complaint is the color. I tried it on and it is not a wear to work color. I could maybe pull it off if I went out with some friends in the evening. I didn't like that when I first put it on my lips tingled for about 10 minutes. I liked how smooth it was. That's about all I can say about this product.

 

Disliked Product #2

 

 

This perfume is Joie, Folle De Joie. It retails for $98 for full size. I was excited to get to try expensive perfume. It smelled terrible though. It might just be me. I thought it smelled to musky. I gave it to my mom because she liked the scent. It is described as a fresh blend of mandarin, rose and sandalwood. I think I would have liked it if the sandalwood wasn't part of the scent. My mom will use it though.

 

 

 

To me the box was worth the $10 I spent. So far I am going to keep my subscription. I recommend this subscription to anyone who would like to try new products. For $10 a month you can't go wrong.



Sleepless In New York

Today I had my PICC line removed from my arm. I was really excited about it because I discovered during this process that I was allergic to the tape they used to secure the PICC line. So now I have this nasty and very itchy rash on my arm. This is one of the reasons I am struggling to sleep tonight. I keep putting cortisone cream on it but it only helps for about a half hour and then it starts itching again.

Another reason I can't sleep is because I know I am going to have to get up to take meds at 4am so why even fall asleep just to get woken up? I am trying to get myself back on a sleep schedule since I am going back to work Monday, but I have a feeling that I am going to be tired no matter what. I only have to wake up for those meds for three months and then after that I won't have to take them. The only reason I have to take them is because of an ulcer I got after surgery. Did I mention that sometimes surgery sucks? It isn't always perfect. I had high hopes for my surgery and I was let down by setbacks one after another. I am ready though to get back to life and weight loss. Just two more months and a normal sleep schedule...sigh.

Medical ID

When I first met with my doctor he told me that after surgery I would need to get a medical ID to identify that I was a Gastric Bypass patient. After surgery you can no longer have any NSAIDS (Ibuprofen and the like) and you can't have a blind NG tube. So if their is ever an emergency it is important that if you can not tell someone about yourself the ID can. So I initially ordered one from one company. It was really expensive and very pretty but in between hospital visits I lost it. I have no idea where. I searched high and low with no success. I didn't want to spend a lot of money on another one so I started to search for a different company. I came across Hope Paige Medical ID Marketplace. Their products are much nicer and not as expensive. In fact I was able to buy two of their bracelets and I love them both.

 

 

This one is for more dressed up occasions. I love it and want to show it off to my coworkers but I am really worried that at my job I would ruin it. Which is why I bought the other one.

 

I like this one because it is a stretchy cloth band. I can wear it to work or to workout.

 

 

So if you need to buy a medical ID check out Hope Paige.

Food

I was going to post pictures of my food today but then I figured it my depress people. Right now I am only eating between 1/4 and 1/2 a cup of food at every meal. Usually it is just about 1/4 a cup right now. There are different stages of this diet that you work up to. I am currently allowed to eat things like eggs, tuna, soft cooked veggies, soft cooked pasta like mac and cheese, beans, cottage cheese and some fruits. So today my menu was:

Breakfast:
1 Hardboiled egg
1 slice of canned peach.

Lunch:
1/4 cup of mac and cheese mixed with baked beans (sounds gross but really good)
1 slice of canned peach

Dinner:
1/4 cup of mac and cheese mixed with baked beans
1 slice of canned peach

I know it doesn't sound like a lot of variety, but right now since I am not eating that much at every meal I have been doing a lot of leftovers. It seems silly right now to make elaborate meals. I am going to make fish though this week sometime because that is something I can have and it sounds so good right now.

I think food has been the most challenging aspect of this diet so far. I think mainly because it is trying to figure out what I can tolerate on my approved eating list. There are a lot of things on the list, but I am noticing that my taste buds have changed a bit making things like cooked cauliflower not taste appetizing. I made up a batch of it today and then when I tried a bite it tasted so gross. I am loving cottage cheese and I used to not really like it. So you see lots of changes in my taste buds and appetite.

Cocoa Butter: Not Just For Prego's

 

This is my favorite stuff right now. With my weight loss has come a lot of skin issues. I love the Palmer's Cocoa Butter because it makes my skin feel so great. It is supposed to help with stretch marks. I don't think I will know how well that is for awhile, but as far as my skin goes it is awesome. I have a lot of dry skin right now because my body is getting used to changes. I have used this on all my dry spots and it has soothed those spots. It smells great too. I know that this stuff isn't for everyone but it is great for me.

Blogging: A Whole New World

I am okay in saying that I am trying this blog thing out and I am such a newbie to it. I really like getting my thoughts out there, but figuring out the templates and layouts are difficult. I made some changes to my blog today but I think if it is not working out then I will change things back. I added tabs to my blog and hopefully I will be able to figure them out. I appreciate the support I have for this blog and I am grateful to my readers.

One Month Post Op

Well I finally made it to one month post WLS. I didn't know if I would survive a month or not. I did! After one month I am down to 223. When I first started this journey I was 257. I first started this in March. The day of my surgery I was 244. So I have lost a total of 21 pounds so far! I only notice a difference in my face so far. I feel very happy that I am starting to lose weight and hope I can keep it up.

On the diet portion my doctor has specific rules for the diet. Most people who go through him would be further along in his schedule but because of all my health issues I am a little behind. I am only on week three of his diet plan. Mostly I have been eating canned tuna and cottage cheese with some unsalted saltine crackers. Sounds gross, but when you were on liquid for two weeks and then mushy food for another two weeks canned tuna might as well be a cheeseburger. During this week you are supposed to work your way up to 1/4 cup of food. It seems like it is not a lot but I assure you it is.

Currently I am on a lot of medication. Mostly because I have an ulcer and c-diff. Once those clear up I won't be taking so many pills. The hardest thing to get used to is taking vitamins. I wasn't taking vitamins before surgery so I was kind of not smart in buying the required vitamins. I have to take B-12, a Multi Vitamin and Calcium Citrate. B-12 was an easy pill. You will notice after surgery it becomes a lot harder to swallow pills and the bigger they are the more difficult they are. I did not know this and bought my vitamins before surgery. I had to get chewable multi vitamins and went with a brand from Twinlab. (Please note I am not being paid for my review of their product. I truly love it and it helped me. You might prefer a different brand)They create bariatric support products. I got their chewable berry multivitamin. I actually like it. I thought it would be gross but it is good and it is much easier to take. Do not waste the money on chewable calcium because calcium dissolves in water so you can drink it.

I look forward to another month on this journey and the several months ahead. I am including my one month photo.

Diarrhea

So my almost one month out of surgery has been difficult. When I initially went in for my surgery I was made aware of all the risks and I was still willing to take them. I did not do well with the anesthesia so my doctor was keeping me from Monday through Thursday morning. I do not like hospitals and I was ready to get out. Wednesday night though I started to have a bad case of diarrhea. Thursday morning when my doctor came in to check on me and give the final okay I mentioned to her that I was having diarrhea and she immediately decided that I was not going to leave the hospital and they were going to do a stool test. My test came back positive for C-Diff ,which I have mentioned in previous posts. It was a horrible experience and really set me back in my progress. When I finished my meds for it I was relieved because they tasted horrible.

So this last Saturday evening I started having diarrhea again. I was convinced it was not C-Diff because as gross as this sounds C-diff has a very distinct smell. So Sunday afternoon I was still having diarrhea which is not good for individuals that underwent WLS. The diarrhea also started to smell like C-diff. I called my doctor's office Monday morning and they had me come in ASAP. Good news is that all the diarrhea had not made me dehydrated. The bad news is that I got C-Diff again which apparently is not so uncommon. C-Diff can rear it's ugly head a few days after completing a round of medication so my doc prescribed a longer course this time.

Why a post about diarrhea? Well some people who have WLS go through a difficult transition. Lot's of body changes that are not fun. It can be embarrassing and frustrating. While I am currently frustrated I know that things can not possibly get worse for me. Just remember that things will get better and just keep working to reach your goals.

M.I.A.

I have been M.I.A. the last week or so. 5/24/14 I started feeling a little stick to my stomach. I wasn't worried as I thought it might just be my body adjusting to a new stomach. The pain continued to get worse over that day and the next to the point that I was barely getting any fluids in because the pain was so intense. I called my doctor's office first thing Monday 5/26 to tell them what was going on. They had me come in right away. It was determined that at least one problem was from dehydration. They admitted me into the hospital that day. Over the next couple of days they did the tests they could without scoping me (this is because I was too soon out of surgery). The tests were inconclusive which led the docs to believe that it was a stomach ulcer. They put me on a couple of prescriptions and decided I should stay in the hospital on IV fluids through Saturday. On Friday before I went home they put in a PICC Line. (For more info go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peripherally_inserted_central_catheter)

 



 

This picture is from the Saturday after I had the PICC inserted. Originally it looked really bad. So since I have been home a week now and I have had fluids administered through the PICC line at home. A home nurse came a few times to teach me how to set up the fluids and machine it is pumped through into the IV. So now I can do it myself.

 

I am doing much better now. I am getting close to 48 ounces of fluid a day on my own which is what I want. I also am eating well now. My doctor has a 7 week post op diet plan that he has us follow. I am finishing up week two and will start week three tomorrow. I chose to go a little slower with the process because starting week three you can not have fluids 30 minutes before and an hour after a meal. So considering the fact that I was having problems with my fluid intake I figured it was better to wait to move to week three. So in the week two plan you can have things like unsweetened applesauce, loose mashed potatoes and my favorite low fat cottage cheese. Seriously that is the only thing I have had any desire to eat. I can eat three times a day two tablespoons of food. I am allowed to season. So I have had my cottage cheese with pepper or I mix in a teeny tiny amount of the unsweetened applesauce. To me it tastes like a gourmet meal. I will update on the diet when I start my new week.

Liquid Diet

I have mainly been on a liquid diet. At my doctor's office the first week out of surgery is liquid only. The second week is liquid and soft food like yogurt and watery mashed potatoes. Can I say though I am ready for more food. They taught in my nutrition class to take it slow because you are still healing after surgery. So I will take it slow, but I am starved for real food. Okay not actually starving but I have been having cravings for real food. In the mean time I am looking at food websites to hold me over. One of the hardest things about liquids is getting the required 48 to 64 ounces every day. I have never been much for liquids. I mean really not much for liquid. Before surgery I would maybe drink a little in the morning and then with lunch and dinner. So now I find myself forcing the liquids. It's important though because after WLS you are more prone to dehydration so it is important to sip, sip, sip.

I forgot to post a before picture so I am going to do that now. So the first one is the night before surgery and the second one is about 3 years ago.

 

 

Hopefully you all have a great week and for those of you in the WLS category good luck!

Intro To Me

  I am starting this blog because I have searched for a lot of blogs that deal with weight loss surgery and  I have not been so successful. I will share TMI so beware. I want to be upfront and honest about everything I am going through so be prepared.
  I chose to officially have surgery in January 2014. Up to that point I had done some research on the process of surgery and attended a couple of seminars to become acquainted with Weight Loss Surgery (known now as WLS). I had my initial appointments in February 2014 and a surgery date was scheduled for May 12,2014! So fast. Most will not have this experience. A lot depends on your individual insurance. My insurance required a 5% weight loss and a years worth of doctor's notes. Also a lot of surgeons will have their own requirements in addition to insurance requirements so keep that in mind. I had a few additional doctor's appointments before surgery would be approved. Surgery was a last minute approval. I knew I was going to be having surgery the Friday before my Monday morning surgery.
  Now this part might get scary. The day of my surgery I had to be at the hospital at 5am. They took me back, weighed me in at 247 lbs, hooked me up to an IV and then gave me about 8 different pills. One was described to me as marijuana in a pill! I was then taken to the pre-op room. There I met the Anesthesiologist, surgeon and surgical staff. I don't remember anything after that. I do remember waking up in my room after surgery.
  After surgery was the worst for me. There were three people in my room trying to get me to wake up. I immediately felt nauseous. I began to throw up which is bad since they just did surgery on my stomach. In the process of puking my guts I had no control over my bladder. I was puking and peeing at the same time! It was horrible. I got cleaned up and it all started over again. I then spent Monday and Tuesday completely out of it. The anesthesia was really hard on me. You should know that some people do have a negative reaction to the anesthesia so keep that in mind.
 Wednesday was my first day alert and awake after surgery that would allow me to do what my doctor requested. His request was that I drink 4 oz of fluids over a one hour period and walk. The goal was to get me up to 48 oz of fluid a day. I worked hard on this that whole day. I did not want to have to be there longer than needed so the goal was to get discharged on Thursday. Late Wednesday I started to have diarrhea.
  Thursday morning the doctor came by to see if I was good to go. I mentioned to her that I started to have diarrhea and wanted to know if that was okay. It wasn't. I was tested and confirmed positive for C-diff (for more info see http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/c-difficile/basics/definition/con-20029664). This infection caused sever dehydration which is already a problem for someone who undergoes WLS. I stayed in the hospital until the following Monday morning.
   Coming home is something I looked forward to. It is the start of a new life for me. It is the start of an adventure. I didn't choose WLS on a whim and as an easy way out. I struggled for a long time to lose weight on my own and I couldn't do it quickly enough to combat my growing health problems. My biggest advice is to not have this surgery if you are not sure. There is no going back. It is a huge life decision that changes the way you live the rest of your life. So do research and if you are a prayer pray.